I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
