New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
