Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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