it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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