I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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