dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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