I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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