I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
