a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
