Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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