i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
