I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And then he peed in my hair
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