I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
