Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no, he came in my armpit
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
