i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we're making bets on your personal life
We left an ass print on the piano.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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