He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
