Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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