its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
