I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
