I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
