she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
