a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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