The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
