He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
