About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
