Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
