If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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