Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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