Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
