A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
