I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
