yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
