i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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