Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
