You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
