We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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