This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
