guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
