he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
