I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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