But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize