you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
