hotel room ftw
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
