About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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