Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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