I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
