I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We are all done wearing pants today
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