There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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