wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
