Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm passing your future prison.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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