At least make sure they are 18
Why
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
