dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
