You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
