Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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