Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
