Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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