clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
