my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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