I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
