Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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