Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
